I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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