Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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