yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize