Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
can u get pink eye on your cock?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
