Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i love accidental penises.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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