Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
