oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
