I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
