Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
