i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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