He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
