Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
