You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize