Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
