We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
