You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
