We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
