Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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