Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
