if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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