I'll bet she douches with gravy.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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