Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize