I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
