I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
