Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We got so high we made milksteak
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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