I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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