lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
