do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
