It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
