no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
