we're blogging at a bar
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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