I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Randomize
