I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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