I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
