the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
