So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
