put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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