new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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