Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Boobs are out for the taking
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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