Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sorry about my life...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
