I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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