wakey wakey hands off snakey
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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