honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
