nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
