Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
