i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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