Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
