I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
