Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
