I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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