the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
