I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
