I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
