I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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