well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
