I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
