i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
