Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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