how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
