is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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