About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize