I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
