just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
