normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
